Our guest blogger today is Janice Lane of Seaside Healing. Janice is an officiant for non-denominational weddings on the Outer Banks.

There are some very basic things to consider when planning a wedding on the Outer Banks of North Carolina in addition to the catering, flowers, location, etc.  And that is planning for the marriage itself. 

Often couples get caught up so much in the planning for the event, that they forget this is about bringing together two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together.  There are many fine officiants locally that can assist you with planning for the marriage.  Here are some things to consider as you are planning for this part.....

Work on your vows; they should be very personal for the two of you.  These vows will express the feelings you have for each other, and those that you feel comfortable to share publicly before family and friends.  Most officiants have suggested services and readings, or there are plenty on the internet and in books.  But make sure they come from your heart and express what you want to express.  This is not the time for anyone else to have input except for the two of you.

Make sure you have the necessary paperwork.  To be married on the Outer Banks of North Carolina, you can obtain a marriage license at any Register of Deeds office in the State of North Carolina.  They cost $50.00 and are good for 60 days from the date of issue.  You must be at least 18 years old and present the following items:

• A picture ID
• Social security card or another certificate with your social security number listed, such as a W2 form or old pay stub.
• Birth certificate if under 21
• Divorce papers (with Judge's signature)

Outer Banks locations are:

• Dare County Register of Deeds Office located in the Dare County Justice Center at 962 Marshall C. Collins Drive in Manteo (252) 475-5970;
• Currituck County offices on the Currituck mainland (252)232-3297 (Mon-Fri, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm);
• Hyde County Register of Deeds office in Swan Quarter (for Ocracoke weddings) at (252)926-3011.

Allow someone besides the two of you to be in charge of the papers on your wedding day.  On my own wedding day, we realized a couple of hours before the service that the marriage license had been packed and was somewhere in a box in the U-Haul!  With so many other things on your mind, let a trusted friend or family member take care of this for you.  The officiant will need to have the marriage license before the ceremony begins, and it is a good idea to have the witnesses be briefed by the officiant about the signing of the license by them before the marriage can be legal.  This is also a good time for the officiant to receive their payment.  After the ceremony, people feel like celebrating, not like doing paperwork.  The officiant will mail the completed license into the proper office within a week after the ceremony. 

There are two witnesses needed at a marriage ceremony.  Consider carefully who you would like to sign your certificates as your witnesses, since their signatures are there forever.  Often the best man and maid/matron of honor are the witnesses, but if a couple wishes to come on their own without family or friends, often an officiant can find willing friends of their own to come and witness the marriage.  There is a retired couple I often call when witnesses are needed – they think it’s so much fun.  After all, who doesn't’t love a wedding?

It is a good idea to meet privately with your officiant before the wedding, and also before the rehearsal, if there is to be one.  At this meeting, you can discuss how you would like things to take place during the ceremony and most officiants will be able to offer good suggestions about things that may not be readily apparent to a couple making plans.  This is our home, and we know many of the ins and outs of doing things that may make things much easier.  Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want - this is your wedding.  It is also nice on your wedding day to say your vows in front of someone you have met and talked to, and who has an idea of who you are individually, and as a couple.

If there is to be a blending of families, such as children from previous relationships, consider making those children a special part of your ceremony.  Something simple can be done, some sort of acknowledgment, that will allow them to feel more secure about their place in the new relationship.  One of my favorite weddings included the giving of rings to two young girls who were getting a new step-parent.  The couple offered a vow to the children that they would make this a happy family and be the best parents they could be.  It was beautiful and so very meaningful to all of them.

If you are having your ceremony on the beach, or on an outdoor deck, please-please-please keep your rings in their ring box.  There is little worse than looking for a dropped wedding ring in the sand, or seeing it drop through the space between the boards on a deck.

Have fun.  This may be the most important piece of advice of all! 

Thanks Janice! I had a mishap with my marriage license too - not something you want to deal with on your wedding day

Janice Lane performs non-denominational marriage and commitment ceremonies on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  She has been providing this service for several years and loves bringing people together in our beautiful natural area.  You may reach her at 252.202.6842 or seasidehealing@gmail.com.